The Golden Gnome is back! For reasons that may compromise Scandinavian National security I can’t say where I’ve been, however, suffice to say, I’m back for good, giving you outsiders a gnomes eye view of the weekly ongoings here at Bewlay House.
I’d like to start this week’s blog with some exciting news about Scones or scooooooones, depending on how posh you think you are, or how posh you’d like people to think you are. Here at HS&P we like to think a well fuelled body means a well fuelled mind…either that or it’s a cunning form of bribery. Either way, afternoon tea is a daily occurrence here, and after yesterday’s huge success I am delighted to say scones and clotted cream will be returning very soon…despite the trail of sultanas and crumbs that could be traced around the office yesterday afternoon. Animals.
It’s been an unusually long week here this week as everyone looks forward to their three day weekend; I myself am off to the Chelsea flower show as a key note speaker, where else. Nevertheless it’s still been an action packed week, A week that I feel falls into three clear categories, the Best, the Funniest, and Weirdest.
The best,…everyone loves a Freebie, and this has never been more apparent than the mass exodus seen here on Tuesday when the kind folks from Tropicana were handing out free cartons of their latest flavour, ‘Raspberry, Wild rosehip and Elderberry’, just outside the office, yum. Word of this soon spread across the floors like wild fire and soon enough people were darting across Oxford Street, some of the more impatient literally risking life and limb darting between double deckers to get their mits on a carton! If not enough, plans were quickly underway for crafty outfit changes to go back for seconds.
Call me cruel but one of the funnier moments of the week had to be the 5 minutes our lovely HR assistant, Madeline, found herself incarcerated in the lift, after it quite inconveniently, for her, decided to declare itself out of order mid decent.
…Now despite repeatedly pressing the lift ‘Alarm’ button, this was only met on the other side with passing faces of bemusement and shrugs of the shoulders, no one quite sure where this new buzzing noise was hailing from…However, several buzzes later, it was pointed out that someone was indeed trapped in the lift.
Despite muffled screams through the doors and failed attempts of the old age process of elimination, (including members of her own HR team taking part) it wasn’t until the lift miraculously decided to fix itself that we realised who was missing! … Poor Madeline.
This is why you’ll never see me in a lift; it has absolutely nothing to do with being unable to reach any of the buttons!
This leaves me with the weirdest thing my pointy golden ears have had the pleasure of over hearing this week. Whilst plodding along through the reception area on returning from my weekly yoga class I hear Rachael, our receptionist, asking passing male members of staff, ‘have you ever been to a strip club?’ Quite why she felt like carrying out this ‘research’, only she can know, however despite pulling my hat down over my face, the question was soon put to me.
Maybe I’ve lived a sheltered life, but can gnomes even pole dance…more importantly, should they? Have you ever caught a glimpse of your garden gnome through the window dancing provocatively around a polished washing line pole…?
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